A New Look at Blogs

     This experiment with writing the blogs has been interesting.  I mean, I have a difficult enough time trying to keep a journal, so when I was told we had to do a blog that others would read, I was a little nervous.  But it was really great to see the positive comments on each of my blog posts and the feedback I received for my essays.  This really opened a new door for me.  I hope that I can keep practicing keeping this blog and hopefully I can touch someone's life with it.

     My desired audience for this blog was LDS members and, more specifically, BYU students.  I think I can relate best with them.  I think the major theme that I saw in my blog was that of the Church and, more specifically, the love and importance of family.  I hope that those reading my blog can see my strong love of the Church and family and recognizing the blessings that come when we keep the commandments and draw closer to our family on this earth and those who passed on before.
     I really enjoyed writing about the Family History posts because those are so relevant in my life.  I think the tithing post is important as well, and I hope the pictures that I have included in this blog drew readers in and made it more enjoyable.  I think it is really neat to look back on all of these blogs and see how my writing and my person has changed since the beginning of this semester.  Thank you for looking at my blog!

Endure to that Final Moment (My Personal Narrative Essay Revised)

This is it.  This is the moment I have been waiting for.  This is the moment my parents have waited to see.  This is the moment I have been working hard for, hours and hours of devotion into this one moment.  How will it go?  Is everyone ready?  Is Ms. Fine ready?  Is the audience ready?  The applause ends, and I take my place at center stage, next to the conductor.  The lights burn away my calm façade, and my hands perspire ever so lightly.  I know all too well that there are cameras pointed at me.  I try to muster a smile.  I am pretty sure it looks more like a grimace.  I cannot see anyone but those on stage.

            Silence. That is all I hear.  I look back to make sure they are ready.  My friends smile at me, giving me a thumbs up.  They have and always have had confidence in me.  They believe in my skills more than I do myself.  I guess that is normal.

            Breathe, just remember to breathe.  I think to myself as I wait for everyone on stage to get situated.  Don’t keep your legs straight.  Remember: Relaxed shoulder, loose fingers, and listen.  You have gone through this enough.  You know what you are doing.  Focus.  Don’t think of your parents listening to your last high school performance.  Don’t think of anything but the music, the way it speaks, how it is the perfect piece for your final concert.

            I think back to the hours I spent on this one piece of music.  I think of my teacher that gave me the private lessons and taught me so much.  I reflect back on her comments.

            “And one-two-three one-two-three, there you go,” Mrs. Wallace sang in my ear as I play the music.  “Do not rush,” she sang with emphasis on each word.  Silently she circles parts of the music as I played through.  I no longer wince with every mark.  It was for my improvement.  I knew that.  You did not play the violin for eight years and not learn how to take criticism.  I knew it was nothing personal.

            “Very good, Lysje,” Mrs. Wallace said as I finished the piece.  “Especially for your first time through—you are a very good sight reader.”  Inwardly I beamed.  One of my best skills with music—I always had a knack for reading music quickly and picking up the rhythm better than my classmates.  “Now, let’s start from the beginning, but take it slower, and let’s work out these kinks.”

            I come to, back on the stage with hundreds of pairs of eyes on me.

            Remember Lysje, I tell myself, don’t rush the beginning.  I keep reading through the music even though I have most of it memorized by now.  I take note of the little scribble marks that cloud the page.  There are fewer now.  I had to go through and erase some so as not to be confused when I actually performed the piece.  Too many marks can make the eyes dizzy.  What tempo will she try to start the piece at?

            When I think of the tempo, I silently reflect on the temp I was once told to start the song with.

            “Remember,” I heard Mrs. Wallace say, “This needs to be an upbeat song, but don’t make it sound like you’re racing yourself.  Keep it the same tempo and one that you can play it at.” 

            As I look at the music with me on the stage, I reflect the tempo I desire to play the song with a silent tap of my foot.  Slowly, surely, Ms. Fine lifts her arms, which seemed to be weighed down by her enormous, black ball gown she seemed to find necessary to wear to this concert. Glancing my way, she looks at me to confirm the tempo and nods her head to the beat.

            Yes.  I nod back.

            Suddenly, she gives four beats with her baton, breathes in quick right before the orchestra is about to enter, and click.  It all comes together.   She remembers the correct tempo, the one I am comfortable with playing the song at.  The entire orchestra comes together at the correct tempo and right time.  I don’t even try to suppress a grin.  I know how hard they have worked to hit that first note just right.  I love them like they are my family.

            I think back again to my conductor’s advice.

            “Remember to look at each other, listen to the other parts,” I remember Ms. Fine would say during the many classes our orchestra had together leading up to this concert. “Make eye contact.  Single out a part and listen to the conversation your instruments are having with each other.”

            Looking at that same orchestra with me now on stage, I see the celli looking across the stage at the violins right now, nodding to each other to keep time and the baton in their field of vision.  The introduction is almost over.  Soon, it will be my turn.  I see the microphone in front of me.  I groan on the inside of how every single wrong note I hit will be amplified by ten.

            Breathe, I tell myself again.  Silently I say another prayer for comfort.  My hands that once shook relax.  I close my eyes as I listen to the beautiful conversation taking place between my family-like orchestra.

            Past comments make their way into my mind.

            “You’ll do great!” I remember my Sri Lankan best friend, Sonali, assured me.  “You made it to State with this piece.  Even if you mess up, no one in that audience will know.”

            While on stage I smile at her words, knowing that for the most part they are probably true.  Not very many in that audience full of hundreds of proud parents and friends would notice any mistake I might make unless I showed it on my face.

            Remember, relaxed face.  Smile. This time when I smile, it comes more natural.  Only a few more measures until my turn.  The lights don’t seem so intimidating anymore.  Standing up straight, I gracefully place my instrument on my shoulder.  Then, I lightly raise my bow to the strings, applying just the right amount of pressure onto the “D” sting with my bow flat on the string to reach optimal, full volume.  And I’m off. 

            As I play I imagine myself back in the practice room with Mrs. Wallace.  I think of the tempo, I listen to her advice. 

            “Don’t forget the trill here,” I hear Mrs. Wallace’s words echo in my mind as I play through that section of the piece.  Notes swim around me, and I am engulfed in the music.  My body starts to sway and move with the melody.  Some parts require more pressure from my bow arm, some parts require I back off and play at a whisper.  Other parts I don’t play at all, giving a grand pause.  I imagine the audience holding their breathe before I come in quietly, gradually.  The orchestra, my family, accompanies me in the background, following my lead.  They are good enough; they would do beautifully without Ms. Fine. 

            The song picks up pace as I approach the end.

            “This spot you’re supposed to play faster,” Mrs. Wallace remarked as I played.  “Push it to the max.  Make the audience’s hearts race in anticipation.”

            And I do just that.  With three final, large bow strokes, the song ends.  My violin echoes throughout the room.  Silence. Then, the audience erupts, and I know my parents are the loudest.  I receive a standing ovation.  I bow and give credit to the orchestra and my conductor.  I smile a bright smile, almost positive I’m blinding the audience with my happiness.  I did it.

Wedding! Christmas! And.... Finals?

It is that time (again)---finals!  Aren't you so excited?!  Not for the finals, but for the fact that after that--it's done!  We have completed a(nother) full semester at BYU!  I am so excited to be with my family this Christmas.

    As you can probably tell from the title---an exciting event is taking place in my family over Christmas break.  You know that brother that I always make meals for and that I love dearly?  He is getting married on December 22, 2011 in the Salt Lake City temple to a wonderful young lady named Alysha.  They are a wonderful couple, and I am so happy to see them together.  Cameron deserves a good wife and she a good husband.

     The reception is going to be great as well because--shhhh, don't tell my brother or his fiance----we are going to do a fun flash mob at his dance.  I will post the video if all goes well.  It will be to the song Dynamite!

     What I am most excited about is seeing my family!  They are all coming here from Missouri and will be here in 13 days!  I cannot wait to see them and spend an eventful Christmas break with them.  I love my family so much and am excited to be with the people that know me best.

Fitting Together Some Pieces of the Puzzle

   Something happened this past week that really excited me for family history.  I went to the Family History Center in the basement of the library (Awesome place, by the way) and set to work on my family's history.  At first, it was slow because I was connecting all of my family to myself on new family search.  After about an hour of finally getting the names that are available within a few generations, I was able to search for those names that we were lacking.
     It was great because soon I found a child of one of my relatives.  It showed his birth date, but it was italicized because no one had put his death date.  I think that whenever that line was done, he was still alive since he died within the last ten years.  I was excited to find him.  After a little bit of searching through all the wonderful databases that BYU subscribes to, I was able to find some historical articles on him and his death and his wife.
    I quickly entered his death into new family search, and I discovered that none of his work had been done and that they could not find any possible duplicates of him.  I was so ecstatic!  He was the first name that I discovered, which will lead me to more.
     I also found that the guy who originally entered in all of those names on my family's side may still be alive and likely related to us.  He just did not know about another daughter on that line (my great grandmother) because she is still alive even though she recently turned 100.  I hope to get into contact and meet this man that has worked so hard and on so many of my family's names!  Family history is wonderful, and I can definitely feel the hands of Elijah in the work that I do for my ancestors.

Must Try

Watch this video and do what it says.  Please watch it before reading on.

           I really want to know how you did.  For me, I failed the first time and did not notice.  I think we can definitely apply this video to our lives in a spiritual sense.  Often, especially at college, there are many ways that we can become focused on our school work and finals and forget about the wonderful moments and people in our lives.
           Hopefully, as the finals draw near, you remember to read and study your scriptures, pray morning and night and always have a prayer in your heart.  Look around you and be thankful for being here.  Remember your family who made it possible for you to be where you are today.  Remember your friends.  Remember any calling you may have.  Don't be so focused on something as small in life as a test and forget about the most important things in your life....  They are not things.

Part 2 of that Experiment

          Another time throughout that week of learning to recognize the spirit, I definitely felt I knew an answer to my prayers.  There was a quote shared in class by Joseph Smith that was “Search the scriptures.  Search the prophets.  Know what is for you.”  I felt that I needed to study not only the scripture but also the council from prophets in order to receive revelation.  I could not just receive the answer by sitting around and trying to listen, but I needed to actually search for answers.  I felt the Spirit made that known quite clear to me.

          The final major experience I had with learning to recognize the Spirit was whenever I went to babysit the children of friends of my family over the weekend.  I had the strongest impression that I needed to read scriptures with the children.  So that is exactly what I did before they went to bed.  Then I felt that I needed to pray with them.  So I did.  When we prayed I had the opportunity to help the 4-year-old boy learn the importance of prayer and how to pray, and I also was able to reiterate to the older children the importance of them setting an example for their younger brothers.  I feel that through those impressions by the Spirit, I was able to grow closer to that family and teach important lessons that would help them grow as well.

Remember that Book of Mormon Experiment?

At the beginning of that three week long experiment (I mentioned earlier in my blog), I made a promise to myself that I would put much effort into doing the best I could on applying these scriptures to my life.  I definitely saw improvement in my life and my character.  I learned that I need to be more receptive to the spirit, to avoid contention, and to stop judging unrighteously.

            The first scripture that I chose is Helaman 5:30 on October 20^th, which reads:

                        And it came to pass when they heard this voice, and beheld that it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did pierce even to the very soul.

            I took from that scripture that I needed to be more approachable by the Holy Ghost.  I am sure the Holy Ghost tries to speak to me often, but I am usually so busy in my life to actually stop and listen.  So for that entire week I prayed morning and night for guidance on how I could be more able to hear the Holy Ghost and recognize his voice.  The day after I started this challenge, I already recognized the promptings of the Holy Ghost and his power in my life.  For instance, I recognized the spirit dwelling within me as I went to take a test for a difficult class.  I prayed not for answers to the test, but I prayed for a calming of my nerves.  My whole life I have had test anxiety for reasons I am still unsure of.  When I pray, however, I noticed my breathing becoming even, and I felt comfort and peace. 

            Now, I have always prayed before taking tests, but I never really understood why I always felt the need to until that day.  That day, I recognized the spirit’s warmth in my soul during the entire test.  I felt comforted.  I realized that if I did not pray before a test, I would miss that feeling, and I just never wanted that feeling to be absent, especially then.

Yooouuuuu Sneeeeeeaaaaakkkyy Moooomm!

Soooooo, this is just a video I had to include.  My Human Development teacher decided to show this video in class to show....  Well, I don't really remember.  All I remember is that is it suuuper funny.  I think he was telling us about ways to punish your children that isn't spanking, but I don't think this was encouraged, it just sort of related to the topic in a distant sort of way.  

I think it is highly entertaining the different reactions some children have that actually probably reflect the parenting.  One boy reacted in extreme anger as he punched the wall in frustration.  He has probably watched a few action films and has most likely seen others perform that same action--someone close to him.  

Another girl, when she calls her dad ugly, I think is afraid to really do much to her parents because she loves them.  So calling him ugly, I could see her as feeling guilty about that comment later.

The most saddening part of this video, though, is the complete draw candy has on children and how attached they become to something so temporary.  I think the children at the end showed the best logic of all and deserve some praise for their reactions and the one boy's encouragement to his brother.  You can tell that he really cares for his younger brother and must have some good examples of parents. 

Enjoy!

Give Willingly

Tithing settlement recently took place in my ward, and I had the wonderful opportunity to go before my bishop and declare to him in the sight of God that I am a full tithe payer.  Now, my testimony of many different aspects of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and of the Church in general is strong.  I know it is true.  But tithing is a specific part that I feel is where the strongest part of my testimony lies.

Being in college, you have many financial strains throughout the four or more years.  I knew that when I came, so I have never really stressed too much about it.  I always know that if I work hard and do my best and pay my tithing, the Lord will bless me.  I really do have a strong testimony on tithing.  However, recently, I've become a little anxious.

Then, the night I declared to the Lord that I was a full tithe payer and paid off the last of my tithing, I remembered a talk given in my ward.  The talk said how he was told in a prayer to only pray about what he was thankful for, and to imagine that when he woke up the next morning he would only have what he prayed about being thankful for the night before.  For some reason, that talk came to my mind as I prepared to pray. I found it odd, but I decided to do that.  I had been about to ask for help with finances, but I decided to only say what I was thankful for.  I did just that, and in the prayer I mentioned that I was thankful for the blessings of tithing.

The following day, something wonderful happened.  My father called me and mentioned how I was the only child to never ask for money while away from home.  He then went on to explain that he would be putting some money into my account.  Just the amount that I was needing.  I felt the spirit and a strong love for my father on earth and in Heaven.  I knew He listened to my prayer, and I am so thankful to Him for giving me such a wonderful, loving family and father that is worthy to receive the promptings of the Spirit.

A New Wave

California was wonderful!  However, I wasn't too impressed with what Vegas had to offer.  Never in my life have I felt so uncomfortable as when I was walking down the Strip with my cousin.  The advertisements, some of the people, and just the atmosphere itself was not one I would like to spend more time in.  However, the hotel that we stayed at was pretty darn cool.



We stayed at the Stratosphere!  See the top of that tower?  Yeah, I went up there.  It was awesome.  The view was gorgeous and there are even roller coasters and a thrill ride on top of there.  The craziest one was where the people were harnessed in and jumped off the building to the ground!  Insane!  There were more people than you'd think going on that, too.

Well, that was a cool part of the trip.  But the best place we went on this trip was California and to the Pacific Ocean!  It was very fun to walk along the beach (it was a little too cold to swim at first).  Later, when it heated up on Saturday, we went to a little shack near the beach and rented wet suits and surf boards and surfed for a few hours.  Wow.  It is harder than it looks.  I was able, after about an hour of being knocked down by trying to get past the waves and worrying about sharks, to catch some waves.  Never did I stand up, but I got to my knees.



No, not like that, I wish.  I probably looked a little more like this:



:/

After that, I was a little sick from all the salt and bangs to the head, so that night wasn't too fun, but I made it! :)  Thanksgiving was a blast as well!  There were only five of us, so we went to a restaurant called the Claim Jumper.

It was a pretty cool restaurant with delicious food.  So overall, even though Thanksgiving wasn't at home, I think this new way of doing things might work out after all.  Sure, I missed my family, but I was able to become closer to my aunt, uncle, and cousins and appreciate them even more.  I am so grateful for the family that I went with and for letting me go.  I am so blessed to have the wonderful family that I have.